Post by Bricu on Jul 16, 2006 19:16:28 GMT -5
Bricu sat in his room and wondered how he kept bollocksing up everything.
He left Stormwind two nights before for the Plaguelands--the Dawn still needed him at the front lines. Hurling himself into the scourge seemed particularly stress-relieving, and Light knows he had done enough over the past few days to need some sort of relief. He flew there, boxed two deaders to dust, and realized that while he was talking to them, he was sorting out recent events.
Bricu decided not to run away.
One small kiss made him happy, two more and his head had filled with ideas that maybe, just maybe, his past was no longer a threat. But Bricu's past was a mere thirty-odd some years. Indara's was longer and much more complicated. While his past was definitely catching up, hers was...
What was it? Tossing out words like "fancy" and "favor" didn't mean much. Neither he, nor she, wanted much from the other. So what went wrong?
He ran through the events in his head. Notifiing Redpath that he need to leave. Flying back to Stormwind. Seeing Indara, Delion and Luap at the table...drinking.
Seeing Del and Indara--Indara without her dye--Bricu realized how similar they looked. Both were proud, stubborn and ancient. It wasn't eerie but something was starting to click.
The tension between them was still palpable--being a master at exaggerating tension for his own gain, he could read it easy it enough--but they denied it. He remembered he'd apologize to Del--swallow his pride--for her. He remembered how happy she sounded when he promised he would... "No need to destroy a friendship on my behalf" and "I'd like that." If they had actually made peace, this would have not been as necessary; but he swallowed his pride. he made the gesture. Delion accepted.
The tension actually built.
Replaying the night's events, Bricu remembered how upset he got. He remembered thinking how this should have improved things, and how upset he was that nothing changed. Indara said she needed more time for things to settle between her and Del. They went on for great lengths to make thins appear to be calmer; but Bricu knew better.
Tension at this level cannot last. It has to change. While there was a subtle shift, the change between them was not complete. Del ignored it. Indara shielded herself from it. Then it clicked...
And Bricu did not want the answer.
He stormed off, feeling stupid and childish. He wanted to feel sorry for himself--but the bastard in him would have only delighted in the chance to use that self-pity for more self-destruction. He took aim with words at Indara--hoping that someone else would come along so he could yell--or more--at them. Instead... Instead he was a bastard to her, again, after apologizing to her.
Sitting in his room, Bricu came up with a plot to fix things...but he decided against it. If it worked, two stubborn, proud elves might actually get a chance to live their lives they way they should--but the damage to the people around them would be great. Besides, there were children involved now; being a bastard to adults was one thing, being a bastard to children was still (thankfully) beyond the pale.
He realized he could drink. That wouldn't solve anything. He thought about going to Goldshire and paying for comfort...but that wasn't what he wanted either.
Sitting in his room, staring at the ceiling, Bricu realized that what he wanted hadn't changed much. He was going about it in the wrong way, at the wrong time, possibly for the wrong reasons. He didn't need to sink into self pity, he didn't need to be a bigger bastard. What he needed to do was this "new" way of thinking. That meant he had to fix things...
By fixing things, he knew he had to go home and put some of his demons to rest before they came for him to roost.